Go Ahead and Judge Me – The Working Mom Fallacy

December 21, 2011

This caught my eye on facebook:

Anderson
Are You a Career Mom?
Are you a proud working mother? Do you believe that mothers can easily juggle careers and taking care of the kids? Are you a mom who really does it all? Do you think stay-at-home moms are judgmental of working moms? BE ON THE SHOW!

For those of you who know me, I’m not one who is afraid of being on a stage. I don’t need cocktails for karaoke. I always have a toast ready. I’ll always grab for the microphone. Presentations are a reason for buying a new outfit – no panic involved. Life is one big sit-com starring . . . ME!

So I entered and here is my response:

Please get me on stage with any working mom who believes that careers and family are something done “easily” and that they “do it all” without letting something else slide. Current example: I have a 3 week old naked Christmas tree in my living room and have decided to tell my kids that we are now Norwegian so we can start a “tradition” of decorating the tree on Christmas Eve because it gives me extra days of NOT hearing “When are we going to decorate the tree?” when I walk in the door. I have also told my dean that if my marriage makes it through my master’s degree that I’d like my husband to hand it to me as I walk across the stage since he is the one who is giving it to me. My house is cleaned by others, my kids often eat hot dogs for dinner, and my husband has an eternal kitchen pass to go out at any time without any questions or curfews. As for stay-at-home moms, I am OK with those who judge. I tried that route for 2 1/2 years and found that I am a MUCH better mom, wife, person if I am working outside the home. I often wish I could go to Starbucks, yoga, grocery store at 1:00 pm on a weekday afternoon, but like I tell my kids, it’s all about choices. Make good choices and good things happen, make bad choices and bad things happen. At the end of the working day, moms can only hope that the choices we make will help our kids become well-adjusted humans who find jobs straight out of school, and don’t blame us too much in their future therapy appointments.

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